Here’s How To Detect and Deal With Toxic Friendships

Throughout our life, the amount of times we have been told as teenagers that “Lost friends don’t matter anymore, stop thinking about them; they’re in the past.” were too many to count. However, it does matter and it does leave its traumatic memory on whoever goes through the unfortunate events of losing their friends over and over even if they were a bad influence, it always hurts in one way or another.

We all have got that friend that used to be the closest person to you, perhaps even closer than your own family, yet they leave you behind abruptly. Sometimes it could be just because of a misunderstanding, sometimes it’s because they just wanted to be one of the cool kids and resorted to leaving their own friend for the sake of being popular. It never hurts any less whenever you think about it and no matter how much time passes; it still is upsetting. That kid you knew from elementary school drifted away when you got into middle school, that kid you used to hang out with all the time suddenly feels like a stranger and you never say hello to each other anymore.

I do agree that they aren’t exactly relevant now in our lives as young-adults but you can never shake off the feeling that maybe you did something wrong that drove them away somehow; maybe you weren’t cool enough or maybe you were just too plain to hang out with? These innocent yet heartbreaking thoughts used to run through our mind when we were barely 10 years old and still continues on in our lives as teens and adults. After all, all we want is to have someone there for us whenever and wherever; we’re only humans.

When I said it leaves a traumatic memory, I didn’t mean depression although that could be one of the side effects of having mean and under-appreciative friends; what I meant was their overall attitude with other people. They could have trust issues that are unintentional but it just exists, they could become insecure of their personality, or even their looks sometimes.

Let me assure you that it’s not all bad, it has its perks depending on the person in the situation at hand. One of its perks is later on when you’re older and more aware of the dilemma of having a bad or toxic friend, or even an acquaintance; you’ll stand up to yourself and confront your friends about the way they’re treating you. Worst case scenario would be losing said friend, but then it would be for your own benefit and wellbeing.

What I’m saying is, if a friend is treating you wrongfully; don’t just leave it be. Stand up for yourself, tell your other friend about the conflict no matter how small. You’re the priority here and you shouldn’t ever live in doubt and what ifs. You should be enjoying your high school days without feeling like an outcast.