To love yourself or to find someone who will while you fix yourself?

We all have our own insecurities, we have our doubts, fears and problems. And how we face those things is what helps shape who we really are, and how we deal or feel towards ourselves. We have been spoon-fed all our lives that self-love is important, and that we can’t give or accept love unless we “love” ourselves first, unless maybe we “accept” ourselves first. And when we fail to love ourselves, we often mistakenly wait for someone else to do it for us, we wait for someone to come along and point out that all those unlovable parts of ourselves , are in fact, lovable.  There is off course a huge difference between waiting for someone to love you instead of you loving yourself and between you doing it while someone help you do it. But, before you wait for someone else to do it for you, here’s what you need to understand :

• If you can’t accept yourself, you will start accepting what shouldn’t be accepted.

Being eager to feel loved can sometimes put us into situations where we will lower our standards for others, maybe for those who don’t deserve it. When you aren’t fully aware of your own worth, you will start accepting things that you as well don’t deserve. It can make you accept being in a toxic relationship where you are constantly beaten up, cheated on or lied to, and this is just because you are finally feeling loved!

• Unfortunately, nobody is going to save you.

If you are waiting for someone to do it for you, it will be difficult. It’s surely good when you have someone who can love you while you love yourself. but if you are waiting for someone to do it instead of you, then this is all about filling a void that can’t be filled. And trust me no-one can ever fill this void for you, because you will always find it hard to believe you are lovable. Your insecurities will always convince you are about to be left or you are about to be cheated on because you are not so perfect as you should be. So, unless you actually accept yourself, it will be hard for you to believe there is love waiting for you out there.

And before you wait for someone to do the self-love for you, You need to understand that…

• Your relationship with yourself is just like every other relationship.

Believe it or not, your relationship with yourself has it’s own ups and downs, just like your relationship with anyone else. There will be days when you will doubt yourself, and there will be days when you will truly trust and believe in it. Your relationship with yourself demands time,patience and understanding just like any other one. Time to figure out yourself, patience to understand it and understanding of your own flaws. Always keep a reminder that self-love isn’t about being perfect, it’s about accepting. You just start developing, when you accept it.

• You can give love, you just can’t accept it.

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There is a myth that says that we can’t give love unless we love ourselves first. But, actually this is so not true. Every human being is capable of giving love, even if we struggle to love our own selves at times. We just find it hard to accept love. We have doubts about our own selves, and getting to believe the good things others have to say about us will surely be difficult. But remember that you will always be able to give it away to anyone even if you struggle to give it to yourself right now.

Remember that nobody can be viewed as the mirror that helps you see yourself through, but surely you can have someone  help carry this mirror for you while you love every piece of your own self, and that there’s a huge difference between being loved while fixing yourself and between having someone who can do it instead of you.

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