First love, it’s not much of an enigma as it once seemed when we were younger. It’s not as beautiful and wonderful as the movies and fairy tales made it out to be, nor is its heartbreak as devastating as it once felt like. It’s more of a messy mix of things that could make your heart flutter and ache at the same time; the old flame is easily reignited with just the slightest mention of its fuel and, once again, it causes your stomach to turn with all those imaginary butterflies and your smile turns goofy like it did back in the sixth grade as though nothing had changed since then.
Whether it was when you were a scrawny little kid, a hormone-fueled teenager, a struggling adult trying to make it somehow or even when you’re old and grey, Cupid’s arrow will find its way towards you for the very first time and you’ll find your world spinning around that one person. Unfortunately, it all depends on whom you’ll find your poor heart falling for. You could fall for someone who actually shares your abundance of feels or you could be cursed with a one-sided love that never goes anywhere but heartbreak hotel. Some never even tell anyone about it, and their love goes to waste and eventually runs dry with time. Countless, however, may still hope for courage to tell and never hold back, yet the fear of rejection cripples them.
Curious about the nature of first love, I decided to ask a bunch of friends and colleagues about their own stories and experiences with first love. From the girl who fell for her online crush to the one who fell for the senior boy in high school, here are 5 different stories of people being young and in love.
1- “As cliché as it sounds, I’m pretty sure it was love at first sight. I think I was 12/13 when I saw him at school, he was a friend of my friend’s brother and he was older than me, and I remember feeling like I’d known him forever when we’d only met for like 3 minutes. I don’t think I knew then that I’d spend the next seven years of my life wanting him, loving him. It was around 2009 and we didn’t have much technology then, but we had Facebook and that was enough for me to know everything about him. In my Freshman Year in high school, his sister started teaching Science there and she started tutoring a couple of kids, including my brother, and I asked her if she could give me a hand with my Chemistry and she agreed! We used to have her at ours for those lessons, but eventually we had to go to hers around the time I turned 15. I don’t think I could even describe how hard my heart was pounding every Friday for an entire year; we probably never even had a proper conversation, we only ever said “Hi!” to each other. When that year came to end, my lessons also stopped, he graduated and I never saw him again. I kept loving him despite that though, up until I graduated from school and realized that his fantasy of mine would never happen. Although I’m not “in love” with him anymore, he’ll always be one of only three I could never not love; he’ll always someone who meant the world to me even if I never did nor will to him. I hope I could tell him if we ever cross paths again.”- Anonymous, 21.
2- “He’s my childhood best friend. People always wondered if we had thing because of the chemistry we had; it was instant. We started flirting at some point, one common friend of ours said we should date, and as time passed I started falling for him. The problem is that we never actually dated; he dated that one girl I mentioned earlier, the one who said that we’re so cute and that we should end up together whenever she got the chance, and the worst part is that she knew about my feelings!! I remained the best friend for so long while he dated another girl, his girlfriend-and my so-called friend- then asked him to stop talking to me, and HE DID! Years later he told me that he actually loved me back then and wished that we were together when we were younger, but it was too late.” – Anonymous, 22
3- “The way we met was a bit unconventional; he was my twitter crush and we never really interacted much, I just used to like and retweet his stuff. Around that time, Ask FM was the newest trend, so I started sending him questions there anonymously and, one day, he did too! We kept the whole chatting through questions there and I wasn’t 100% sure it was him until he sent a link to his Facebook profile and we couldn’t stop talking since. It only took us a day to meet up in real life and I instantly felt like “What the hell, but I so want this to work out!” it was just something about him that had me captivated, it might’ve been his dimples, they’re my ultimate weakness. He was also unbelievably sweet and there wasn’t a day that went by that we didn’t talk during the 7 months we were together. He broke up with me because he had to serve in the military and he claimed he didn’t want to leave me hanging around waiting for him, I tried fighting for him for a whole month but he just wouldn’t have it. We kept in touch for five years after that, it wasn’t the same though.” M.T, 22
4-“We met at a Math class during the summer of our sophomore year in high school. At first, we just joked around like any two classmates, then one day, I was having trouble with my homework so I texted him for the first time to ask for his help. We didn’t really interact much until a week or so afterwards; he sent me a message and we kept talking endlessly ever since. I didn’t notice it early on but, all of a sudden, I just kept getting those damn butterflies in my stomach whenever I saw him. I confronted him with my feelings but he just wasn’t into me that way. Our friendship kept going but there were days where I couldn’t find a label for what we were anymore; I felt like he was being too nice or too flirty, almost like we were actually dating. Things got clearer when we talked about it thoroughly, he just didn’t feel the same. You’d think we’d just give up on the whole thing after that yet here we are, still fighting to keep it together between us, trying to make the friendship last as long as we can. I’m still in love with him; I’m basically suppressing everything when we talk in case it upsets him or makes him feel guilty.” – Anonymous, 17
5- “We both grew up together on the same swimming team, which meant that we practically saw each other every day for almost 8 years. He wasn’t much of a sociable person and that’s why I was surprised when we bonded during one of our championships. Well, it’s more of a “he lent me all the stuff I’d forgotten” to be honest; it was such a sweet moment and it sparked everything. I only noticed I was in love when I found myself wanting to share every single detail of my day with him, and genuinely getting jealous over things I normally wouldn’t mind with anyone else. Days passed and we pretty much became inseparable in no time; it was like a teenager’s ideal love story, like I really was living la vie en rose, until it wasn’t so beautiful anymore. We started drifting apart bit by bit and I couldn’t handle feeling so ignored and unwanted, almost like my presence didn’t matter anymore. I broke it up despite the fact that I still had feelings for him; it was more of keeping my pride and self-respect after all the neglect and indifference. Every now and then, we still have casual conversations; we sometimes even meet whenever the team hangs out. I ought to say I don’t regret nor hold any grudges against him, at least not anymore, two years of moving on helps with that a lot.” –M.M,18
Want to read more? This dose of feels wasn’t enough? Wondering where the other five are? Stay tuned for the second part of the confessions.