Here’s to girls who carry the world’s weight on their shoulders, who lock their tears in times of deep sorrow, who were always told to “man up” as kids so they could carry on when they were still in their tiny dresses. Here’s to the times they cried between the bathroom walls in silence so no one could hear their weakness, to the times they were afraid to say that they couldn’t take it anymore, and the times they regretted taking a break from responsibility. Here’s your guide to allow yourself to be both; strong and kind, without any of them taking over the other.
1) Allow yourself to feel, but not too much
When something hits hard, allow yourself to fall. It is basic physics, don’t try to break nature’s rules, you’ll end up breaking yourself.
Allow yourself to absorb the situation’s magnitude, let it sink in, but as soon as it does, you should stand up again and think of the best way to fight back.
Don’t fight while your feet aren’t yet stable on the ground, when your hands are still shaking, when your mind is still shattered. Relocate your strength and punch back.
2) Cry when you need to, but know when to stop
Your tears are no shame, they’re no weakness, your tears are nothing but the purest expression of the overflow of emotions taking place in your heart. It is that your body couldn’t keep the pain in so it burst it out, there’s no shame in that.
Cry yourself rivers. Show that you’re in pain. Take the time to express that you’re not okay. And after you’re done, after you feel the calm after the storm, wipe your tears away and start thinking of the possible solutions. Cry when you need to, don’t bottle your feelings up, but stop as soon as you can.
3) Say no when you have to
You were always taught to say yes; for the friend in need, for the stranger who needs help, for the destructive people who need someone to talk to. It’s absolutely lovely to always be there for everyone, but it’s absolutely wrong to destroy yourself in the process. Learn to say no when you don’t feel like it, you owe yourself some time and space. Don’t give up so much of them that you don’t have any for yourself.
I know that people rely on you because they know how strong you are, but if you didn’t make time for yourself and its peace of mind you won’t be as strong as they expect you to be.
4) Love every part of yourself
Don’t be ashamed of any part of yourself; whether it’s your fragility or strength. They’re both equally important in shaping the person you are, and in dealing with everything and everyone including yourself. Show your fragile self to the people who are closest to you with no fear, speak your heart and allow yourself to be. Also, don’t belittle your strength, take pride in it and use it wisely.
You’re lucky enough to have a strong mind with an emotional heart, most people lack one of them, don’t let go of any.
Don’t allow anyone to shame you for being too strong, or too sensitive, you know everything you’re made of, embrace it and show it proudly to the whole world.