Aside from the fact that the book went viral within hours after Mo Salah just posted a picture of him reading it, where only the Author’s name Mark Manson was revealed.
People kept wondering about why would Mo salah be reading this book? Could it be about the problems that were said to be happening earlier with the Egyptian association football? Could it be about how he had to leave the champions league final injured? After all, it was a tough ending that Mo didn’t deserve. But, here is a thing about Mo that most people don’t know, on his interview with Amr Adeb: the Egyptian king said he likes spending most of his leisure time reading specially in the field of psychology.
And, apart from all the assumptions people tried to make about the book, the subtle art of not giving a F*** is not about being indifferent or not being bothered by whatever is happening. So, if this book has nothing to do with acting in an indifference matter towards everything what could it be about?
- There will always be suffering you just have to choose the things worth suffering and worth being bothered about:
Mark starts his book by talking about how those positive thinking books insist on pointing out how everything should be great all the time, and that off course result in a burden that weights us down when things don’t go the way we want them to. And so, by believing that things should always be great we start pressuring and blaming ourselves, questioning if we are enough and we end up in the feed-back loop. The feedback loop as Mark Manson defined it is when we are worrying about doing the right thing all the time and then, becoming worried about our worrying and so on. We have busy lives with lots of stuff going on to the point we don’t know what to care about anymore. It’s difficult for us to measure ourselves but it’s easy for us to blame and be so hard on ourselves.
Here is when Mark Manson points out the importance of choosing what to care about. He says that not being bothered by things doesn’t mean indifference but it’s more about getting to choose what matters. So, make sure you only get bothered by what really matters because things may not be going the way you want, and it’s okay, things aren’t great as you assumed they would be and it’s still okay. Finding something meaningful to care and struggle for is the most productive use of your time and energy.it will surely be hard when picking and choosing what matters as it’s probably one of the most difficult practices to achieve, but at the end it is worth the struggle. And remember it’s based on your personal values.
So, what pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?
2- Pain is part of the process and You become unstoppable when you are not bothered by the pain your goals require:
To stop the pain is something impossible and destructive. People want to climb mountains and reach peaks, but they don’t want to pay for the pain it costs to climb. Like you want that perfect body. but, you are not willing to spend hours at the gym to workout. You want a perfect a relationship, but, you are not yet ready to undergo a long conversation with your spouse to figure out things together.
I don’t know but the moment I read this point that Mark Manson wrote, I remembered how Mo salah used to travel five days a week, every week for three or four years, he had to leave at 9 am in the morning where he would arrive to his training at 2 pm, finish training, go home, then its usually eat, sleep, wake up and repeat. This is not just it, he had to transfer 4-5 buses to arrive at training, and then back home again.
It was difficult time, but he wasn’t bothered by the pain or struggles his goals required and look at him now, he is unstoppable!
3- Failure is the way forward:
Its said that your success is based on how many times you have failed at something.
Whatever you do in your life, there will always be people who are better, but its not because they were born this way, its because they have probably failed more than you have. Failure makes you want to practice mastering whatever skill you are working on, so all your failure needs is just more dedication and persistence on turning it into a success that you desire.
We often just hear about reaching peaks, but never did we hear about the climbing process. And, with the social media constantly showing us thousands of different stories of people who made their way to success while not talking about the practice, hard work, failures, tears, pain that helped them achieve this success, it lets us think of ourselves as failures and not wanting to do something with it.
So, if you fail today, you are probably just a step closer to success if you keep practicing failure.
4-We are always choosing:
Since we have control over our choices, choosing the shit you enjoy having will make it less painful to have, because choosing gives us the power of responsibility, it lets you feel you have control over whatever pain the process demands. So whatever circumstances you might undergo, the realization that you are responsible for it will make it more bearable to comprehend.
With this concept in mind, that you are responsible for your own choices, it will help you over come problems when you mess up things through out your journey, but what if you face a difficult painful situation that might not be your fault? We love taking responsibility and credits for success and happiness, but no one wants to be responsible for a bad situation. When in fact the hard-tough bad situations are the ones that let us grow.
Mark Manson states that it’s still your responsibility even when it’s not your fault that things are going bad. While its not your fault for things going the wrong way, it’s your responsibility to fix them and get things back to the right path where they should be. So, whether you have been dumped, cheated on, treated badly as a child, off course all of these aren’t your fault, but you are responsible for what you do next.
At the end, this will always be part of our lives, so instead of blaming others choose to be responsible, fix things and make yourself happy again.
5- you are always wrong:
We always assume we know everything because we are obsessed with being right. The more we will try and be certain about anything, the less certain we will actually become. it’s said that even our own memories can be false and deceiving at times, we can sometimes make memories up to fill in the gaps of the events we don’t remember anymore. Mark Manson says that we should accept the fact that we are wrong, because this will give us the chance to grow and learn more. Accepting the fact that we can sometimes be wrong gives us the chance for change. He says that you don’t go from being ‘wrong’ to being ‘right’, but rather you go from being ‘wrong’ to being ‘less wrong’. Be open to the fact you could be wrong to give yourself the chance for a real growth.
So, unlike any other self-help book, this book gives you the slap on the face that there will be suffering, you will undergo pain and that failure is part of your success, and while it’s not your fault for the problems you face, it’s your responsibility to take actions towards it. This book has sold millions of copies already and is clearly going to sell a lot more, Thanks to Mo salah.