First of all, let’s get to the fact that relationships change over time. That’s totally normal and expected. As two lovers get closer and each one learns about the significant other more, things do not stay the same. Every case is different; every couple has their own way of working their relationship. But one thing is constant, all relationships require effort from both sides, otherwise they might go wrong in different way. We gathered some ways how the relationship curve can go down-sloping.
Losing the spark
It’s all sweet and butterflies at the beginning. In the first few months, couples prioritize their relationships and are filled with excitement and love. But nothing stays the same. Countless couples question what has gone wrong, but they don’t really understand that the spark has faded. The love hasn’t gone, but the excitement has been replaced with familiarity or intimacy. Most couples do this fault of mistaking that “faded spark” to disinterest, and no longer work on developing and exerting effort to make it work again.
It’s either too much that is the problem, or lack of it. There are so many couples that start to have their own lives revolve around their significant other only. They’re either together or keeping in contact all day. Even though they’re a couple, they still need time to pursue their own lives as individuals and not get so needy of one another.
Lack of communication is a real threat to any couple. Women aren’t from Mars and Men aren’t from Venus, and these two can actually have a real conversation. If two people don’t communicate enough, it will be obvious how their relationship can go down to hill. They say “If you talk it, you can work it” and it’s as simple and as complicated as that. Human bonds are often at their finest when people can actually enjoy small talk. It’s underestimated how beautiful it is when two people can actually give time to each other at the end of every day just to “talk” about the random things, share the tiny details, and give each other the chance to connect.
One great loving relationship can turn upside down when one of the sides starts criticizing the other. As a result, the other side might stop being themselves in the fear of being criticized. Both people should be lifting each other up, instead of tearing them down and ruining whatever they have together.
Not only that effort eventually decreases by the time two people actually get into a relationship, but sometimes after a while, one side ends up exerting more effort than the other. It happens when one person finds themselves doing everything to make it work, while the other does a little less, much less or nothing at all. One party might find that they’re the one who always calls, prioritize their plans over anything else, feels disrespected, or has no idea what’s going on with the other party. Relationships totally go on the wrong track when one does everything to work it, but doesn’t get the same in return. Both partners have to give in a relationship, and that includes exerting effort and sharing responsibilities.
Lack of appreciation
This is one main way how relationships can go wrong, and probably the main cause of break ups. Relationships should be healthy, but with lack of appreciation, a couple is not even close to a healthy one. It’s not that one partner is waiting to be thanked, but when someone’s effort is not appreciated, they tend to get hurt. No one likes to be taken for granted, but unfortunately everyone is, in a one way or another. Literally, gratitude changes everything. If one partner exerts real effort but feels appreciated by the other one, they’ll absolutely do more than expected no matter how tiring or challenging this effort might get.
Appreciation isn’t only by words, but mostly by actions. Calling your partner to check up on them is appreciation. Being grateful for their existence is appreciation. Simply caring is appreciation. Not everyone can change in a day into an appreciative person, but someone can try, and this itself is considered appreciation.
People are different, and so are their relationships. There are ups and downs, it goes in different curves. It’s no lie that in all cases, effort is a must. Communication, appreciation, loyalty and trust are essentials. No couple can live without giving in as much as they receive, and that’s how they can save their relationship from drifting to the wrong way.
Don’t forget to tell us how your past relationship went wrong!