We sometimes get into relationships and things go fine until we realize that they’re going too fast; jumping into big steps that should definitely be taken after we spend quite some time together. Usually, we as Egyptians don’t go to the load of stages like how foreigners deal with relationships because of the traditions related to our society. However, every relationship should take noticeable steps and be aware of any rush that strikes the new bond.
1- The L word
Has anyone ever thought of how ENORMOUS this word is? How this word is pulling along a recognizable bunch of promises luggage that we might not be ready to fulfill yet? “I love you” is not a normal three word sentence we say every morning to the gate-keeper or a passerby, it’s not a cute good morning text or a satisfying good night one, we should never say it unless we honestly feel the love in our hearts, unless we know this person enough and have witnessed a lot together, accepting all the flaws and loving all the little quirks instead of criticizing them. Give the sentence its actual value and one day we may receive this value back
2- Meeting parents
Ok, so let’s put this clear, set aside the cute and awesome reactions we take when hearing these words in the relationships and take a look at “WOW this is huge!” side. Meeting Parents is one of the biggest steps you can ever take during a relationship, when parents get involved, things get too complicated sometimes and is not as ‘cute’ as it may seem. Don’t lie to them, but keep the meeting step later. Parents will rush things and you might not be able to think things thoroughly.
3- The expensive gifts
If his/her birthday comes by chance after you date with a few weeks, you are not obligated to buy something big. No matter how old you guys are or how much money you have in your pockets, just get something unique, valuable and never head to the over-priced stuff even if this is what he/she dreams of. I know how this sign may seem a bit overreacted or weird but you never know what may happen a month or a year later, and if you pay 3k or more in the birthday gift you may regret it on a fancy bag or a leather jacket later haha! No truly, they might get it wrong, so take things slowly and keep the big things for when you know them and understand their preferences. Meanwhile, stay on the safe side and get a nice necklace or a modest wallet and this will be perfectly fine.
4-The “should he pay?” struggle
I’m addressing the girls here. The never-ending debate. As girls, most of us appreciate the guy who heads to the bill first and never lets the girl pay, however, if this is your first date, don’t let it go so easy.. Even if it’s a fancy place and you did not plan on getting the needed money just initiate the argument and don’t let him pay for you on the first date, try to make it casual a bit; say that he’s not obligated to do so and suggest to split. Try to be moderate in this issue specifically, there’s no rule and he shouldn’t pay for everything every single time at the end of the day.
Ps: I understand how every relationship deals with such cases differently, but it’s too early to suggest that ‘money is not a thing between us’ when it is the first date.
5- Marriage subject
We should never start the fantasies around children and marriage in our first month anniversary, seriously no! It’s ok to open up about your beliefs about such huge life issues one day but do not mention your partner in these beliefs. It is tooo early. If you want to let your partner know that you are planning to build a family one day so you can evaluate the reaction, don’t indicate your newly partner as your husband or wife.
6- Revealing too much about yourself
During your early phases with someone, don’t tell much and never show your weaknesses ahead. Don’t lie or hide anything if asked, lying in any phase of a relationship is a bad idea, but don’t let them go too deep into your personal life yer. It is never a good thing to reveal everything on your first date or even the second, it’s always better for the partner to explore you and get to know the real you by themselves.
It is extremely necessary to take every step in a relationship with caution and I’m not speaking of calculations or strategies and tactics and all this hassle, but if you take early steps in the relationship you may get so much attached to someone and if things don’t go well, breakups become much harder than they should.