When I was younger, way younger, I never understood what death really is. It was so hard to comprehend the fact that someone with you now could be gone tomorrow, but then, my grandfather passed away when I was only eleven and that’s when everything changed.
My grandfather was -and still is- the closest person to me. I remember when I was younger, he used to take me from and to the nursery everyday. We’d walk home and as soon as we get there he’d start preparing lunch for the whole family because my mom was still young, she couldn’t balance between work and home yet and he wouldn’t want her to feel bad about it. He would do anything possible only to bring the family closer and happier.
When he started getting sick, I insisted on visiting the hospital every single time he gets there. I was only 9 back then, but I never missed a visit. I used to go to check up on him, I used to pray day and night for God to protect him and I used to talk to him when he’s in a coma because I believed that he listened to me.
Then he passed away, I started writing to him, that’s basically how I started writing which is kinda my career now. He was a writer himself, but I never knew that until after he passed away and after I started writing.
Him passing away was the most heartbreaking moment that I’ve ever faced, but it had the greatest impact on me. He taught me that no matter who leaves, life goes on. He taught me that I’m powerful enough to face whatever happens to me. And he taught me that it’s okay to miss someone, it’s fine to cry and it’s totally acceptable to fall down as long as you know how to pick yourself up again.
Until this very moment, I still tell him everything that’s going on with my life. I stopped writing for a while but the talking never did. Sometimes he shows up in my dreams to talk to me about my life, he was there for all the big moments, I felt his presence and his guidance every time I needed it.
My younger self was right, nobody ever leaves entirely. They may not be around you physically, but they never really leave. They protect and guide you. They listen to you. They’re always around when you need them and that’s all what really matters.
So this is to my grandpa, and everyone who’s been gone but never really left, thanks for always being around.