What Causes Disappointment: Expectations VS. Actions

Do we fail ourselves by expecting too much, or do people’s actions fail us?

One theory says that by having high expectations, we expose ourselves to disappointments that ultimately hurt us. In other words, it’s not people’s fault that they didn’t meet those expectations but rather ours that we allowed ourselves to expect more from them, because we cannot control how people act but we can definitely try to undermine the effect of expectations and try as much as possible to expect nothing and just appreciate whatever comes our way.
Another theory says that people’s actions is what fails us, not what we expect from them.
Because, it’s not our fault that we expect from our loved ones, it’s an instinct and we need to receive the same thing we give because that’s our human nature, we need love and we hate to get disappointed. But because people tend to disappoint us, we learned that it must be our fault that we had high expectations from the first place. Where in reality, we only wait for more of what they have to offer, and we feel like we deserve to get what we give and that there’s nothing shameful to expect people to share more, to give more.

How does that actually work? Which of the theories is truer?
In a way, it’s a little bit of both altogether. We can handle being the source of our disappointments but we can’t handle it from other people. So, we need to develop some sort of a shield to the pain of disappointments and we need to learn to accept that not all our expectations are going to be met. That doesn’t mean that just because we expected something and we got disappointed it didn’t happen, it has to mean that it’s solely our fault. This is just how life goes, and it’s how some people function; they tend to be disappointing. Just as we need to accept this fact, we need to accept that expecting is of our nature and it’s deeply fixed within us. We cannot change that and we shouldn’t change that, but we can maintain our “peace of heart” by learning to see the good in everything and swallow the pain of disappointments, maturely.

Bottom line, we’ll keep on expecting and some people will keep on disappointing us and the cycle will just keep on going. Yet, we should never forget this, we deserve the love we keep trying to give to everyone else.