Often when we define the characteristics of an unhealthy relationship, we only focus on the negative influences it has on the couple without considering the negative externalities it might inflict on the social groups that surround the couple.
Whether a dating, an engaged or a married couple, you all have a group of people who you frequently hang out with.
There are some pits that every couple have a tendency to fall into that might give them a bad reputation among their families and/or friends.
Here are five of those:
1. FAILING TO GET A ROOM.
Not to shame PDA-ers or anything because after all, affection only indicates that you’re keeping the spark alive. Nevertheless, when you’re hanging out with a group of other people, it is necessary that you behave as two people hanging out with their friends. You can’t be all over each other when you have company because it makes everyone uncomfortable. They do appreciate that your love is like a thousand burning suns, they just don’t want to know about it. So better keep that stuff to your alone time!
2. FAILING TO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
Regardless of how you choose to deal with your problems as a couple, you probably shouldn’t do that when you’re out with family or friends and definitely not while you have them over for a meal or a night-in. If the matter is so pressing, you can get in your car or in a room and discuss it privately without involving everyone around you in a fight that should remain between the both of you. This kind of behaviour makes it awkward for yourselves and the people you’re with. It is even worse if that tends to happen so frequently that hanging out with you together becomes a stressful task.
It is when you find yourself unable to crack open a cold one with the boys or have a girls’ night out without having your partner call/text you every other second. In some cases, the obsessive behaviour is mutual; both you and your partner wouldn’t mind calling/texting each other all the time that you aren’t together. However, this behaviour certainly will put the people you’re out with off, especially if you don’t get to hang out as much as you had before you got yourself into that sorry excuse for a relationship. Try to make more room for the other people in your life, “the love of your life” is not going anywhere.
When you let the relationship suck you in and consume you, you start losing your individuality bit by bit to the extent that you’ll eventually find yourself unable to do or enjoy anything without your partner. Not all couples have a common group of friends that they usually hang out with. It is one thing to introduce your partner to your friends but another if you simply wheel him/her out to every event, party, and catch-up. Not everyone is ready to spill private information/news to random people whom they don’t quite know. It would also make it absolutely impossible to rant/gossip about your relationship because it can’t happen if the other person is sitting in on the conversation. Besides, just because they’re you’re friends, does not mean that they are as in love with the person you’re with as you are.
5. TAKING YOUR BAGGAGE ON PEOPLE WHO ARE UNRELATED
If you’re in a struggling relationship, you either try to save it or you just end it. What you don’t do is take out the emotional baggage the relationship gave you on the people you hang out/work with and most definitely, not on someone who is coming to you for advice. Also, try to refrain from making casual, constant notes on how relationships are bound to fail. Just because you couldn’t keep it together, doesn’t mean that others wouldn’t be able to, too. Just keep all that negativity to yourself. Nobody wants to hear your poor philosophy on relationships!