These Words Made Me Revive Those Days When I Was Anorexic

Everyday we go through things that hurt and exhaust us a lot, yet, at the end of the day we might be able to forget about it. But when it comes to getting hurt by one of your family members or friends, it’s really different and painful that it gets stuck in your mind leaving a whole in your chest. It gets stuck because you never expected to get hurt by them.

Yesterday, and after 5 years someone called me fat in the rudest way ever, again. Yesterday and after 5 years someone recalled back all the panic attacks and anxiety I used to get when someone made fun of my looks. After 5 years, I suddenly found myself in the past again re-watching all I’ve been through because of people who called me fat and ugly. I remembered when I used to be anorexic and would never like to eat any kind of fats. I remembered having to look at the mirror every 10 seconds. I remembered when i got diagnosed with severe anemia and the doctor told me I might be having a liver disease. I remembered when I stopped going to school because of my health issues. I remembered when I lost twenty kilos and then everybody started questioning what’s going wrong with me and whether I’m sick or not. I remembered what I never wanted to remember.
So what’s really wrong about being fat or skinny? What’s wrong with being ugly or beautiful? What’s wrong with being white or black? Is it even possible to choose how you want to look? Why do people blame us for being what we are yet would love us being fake? Since when did beauty had specific standards that decided whether you’re beautiful or not? Do girls have to look like Barbie for them to look beautiful? I mean why would I have to be skinny and beautiful in order not to be made fun of or not to be called ugly, fat.. etc.?

Never ever blame someone for what they look like. Never make fun of someone’s looks and appearances. Never call someone fat/skinny because you’ll never know what’s in their minds and how they feel about themselves. Don’t make someone hate how they look because you casually hate how they look and don’t really care whether you’d hurt them by your words or not.

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