Surviving a Family Gathering 101

Family is life, there’s no doubt about that. They support us in our lives, they pick us up whenever we fall and they love us from the heart. Everything about family is good except for every teenager’s nightmare, family gatherings.

Family gatherings are long, time consuming and they’re obligatory, so if you’ve got plans for the weekend and your aunt decides to come by, you just cancel everything and stay home.

We can’t really escape the boring family meetings, but we can learn how to survive them so below we’ve gathered some tips for you to stay alive.

Hide Your Computer

Whether it’s your niece, your nephew or just a young cousin, whenever kids come to your house the only thing they see is your PC. I know this perfectly because I used to do it as a kid and I enjoyed it back then but now I know how much my older family members used to suffer from me and I just realized why their computers/laptops were “always being fixed”. ِAlso, with the smartphones now, try to delete all games before you meet any child from the family.

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Escape the Political Arguments

It’s 2017 and after all what happened, there are some people who still have political fights till this day. Those kinds of arguments are the worst with all the shouting and yelling and the continuous attempts to prove the other person wrong. If you feel a political talk coming, put on your headphones and play a song on the highest volume, go play with dolls with your young niece in her room and close the door, go to the bathroom and stay there. Do anything except for sitting there and listening to them. Da lemasla7tak enta wallahy.

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Do Not Go Near Your Grandma’s Phone

Whether she needs you to update her software, download whatsapp for her or just type a message for uncle Fekry because she’s not good with touch screen. If you just touch your grandma’s phone, she’ll consider you as an expert in modern technology and she’ll want you to do literally everything for her when you’re around. So just save yourself the trouble and tell her you can’t do it even if she just wants you to connect her phone to the wifi.

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Smile to Every Stranger You See and Pretend to Know Them

A typical family gathering will always contain some family members that you never even knew they existed. From your parents’ cousins to the grandchildren of your grandma’s mother-in-law, and they all expect us to remember them perfectly, even if we just saw them once when we were four at another family member funeral. Best thing to do in these situations is to say you don’t remember them then pretend that you do the second time they tell you their name with a louder voice and a “ya waaaaad” in the end of it.

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Never Let Them Talk About Your Emotional Life

For some reason older family members just love to ask the famous question, “Mesh hanefra7 beek orayeb?” or aren’t you going to make us happy anytime soon which just means that they want to know if you plan to get married. If you say yes they’ll keep advising you all the time about how you should lead a perfect romantic life, and if you say no they’ll keep talking about why you need to get married soon and they might even try to hook you up with someone, so just don’t allow that kind of talking and if you see it coming change the subject quickly.

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Agree To Everything They Say

Older people have a habit of thinking they always know better than us and they believe that judging us and our generation’s actions is fine, but in times like this try not to argue with them because older people are hardly convinced with a different opinion so just treat them like you treat the terms and conditions at any website, you ignore all what is said to save yourself the time and the trouble, you say yes to everything just to keep them happy and then in the end you do whatever you like.

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Like everything in life family has it’s pros and cons, we’re just telling you how to live with the cons.

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