Why Relationships Scare Me As a Man

Relationships, because why not? What’s so hard about it?

Two people meet, they fall in love with each other, they live to make each other happy forever. Simple isn’t it?

Unfortunately this is not entirely true because as simple is it looks from the outside, the more you look into the smaller details, the more you see the complicity of relationships and I’m a strong believer that the smallest of details form the bigger picture.

So here’s what scares me the most of getting in a relationship.

1)Not Knowing What They’re Thinking

Ok so let’s say I like this girl and I’m sure of it, but how do I tell if she likes me back? Is she showing me that she’s interested in me too or is she just being nice? What if she likes me but I don’t know it and I’m too afraid to tell her that she would lose interest by time? Or what if I tell her I like her but she doesn’t feel the same and it affects our relationship? What if I’m a hugger and she’s not which ends up with her feeling uncomfortable if I ask her? All those possibilities can drive me crazy!

because, well…

2)Not Reaching Expectations

This could also go under the first category somehow. Your partner may have some expectations or some actions that they’re waiting for you to do/not do. I mean let’s say I meet a girl and we get together and she’s a feminist so she expects me to split food and taxi bills with her but I don’t do that, or if she’s a girl with the oriental ideology that the man should pay for most of the stuff? How would I know which one she is and how to please her? What if she expects me to be with her when she has a problem but I can’t do it because I’m busy. If a big problem comes up she may expect me to be able to handle it, but what if I can’t?

3)Secrets

Couples should tell each other everything right? RIGHT?! Well, what about the secrets I can’t tell anyone at all? I mean I would love to share my life with someone but will I ever be ready to share everything about my past, my personal life, and my feelings that were never shown? I really think it would be really tough to do all of this but on the other hand, we’ve all seen movies and we all know how couples react when they discover a secret that their partner never told.

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4)Breaking Up

I’ll admit that I’m paranoid but just think of the possibility, no matter how close we get together there’s still a chance that we may leave each other even after years. So knowing that inevitably there’s still a possibility of a break up, how will I be willing to pull this person closer to me and make her an essential part of my life? Will I ever be ready to take such risk?

5)Being Too Much To Be Handled 

I know for a fact that I’m not an easy person to be around all the time. I make jokes all the time which can make people uncomfortable at times, I have terrible mood swings and I can go from a happy cheerful guy to a desperate guy in under two and a half minutes for no obvious reason at all. Sometimes you’ll find me talking to you 5 times per minute and some other times I can stay for months without saying hi. I always think that if I’m with a person, they would probably not be able to take all the craziness.

In the end I’m not saying relationships are bad, but I’m just saying that as beautiful as they may seem, they can get pretty scary. What really mattters is working on your flaws and, well, stop it with the overthinking thingy!

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