I hate how everyone thinks relationships is a fun topic. Love became a couple of selfies and some useless hashtags, almost every couple I know is fighting to win the comment of #Goals or #RelationshipGoals, which they all end up getting anyway to the extent that the both words relationships and goals have somehow lost their meaning. Nobody really falls in love anymore, most of us only fall in love with the idea of having someone by our side. After marriage, the most logical consequence to all of this is having a failed marriage or divorce. You think that affects you only? Well, no. Choosing your life partner affects your kids’ mental and physical health more than anything else, the consequences are a lot more than you guys having broken hearts.
- Perfectionism ruins how they see the world
Kids are smart. When they see you guys fighting all the time and you never leave each other, they know that they are the reason behind this marriage. You guys are staying for the sake of your kids, this develops a very high sense of perfectionism to them. They’ll set the bar high, very high, and lash out if they achieve anything less than perfect. They’ll think by being perfect they’re helping you guys, they’ll be giving you something to be happy about and not fight anymore. As for the kids’ side, because of the dysfunctional house they have, they’ll try to go for perfection in everything else to make up for what they don’t have.
- They don’t know how actual relationships work, but they fear them
No matter how healthy they may seem to you, there’s always that fear of commitment. As they grow and meet different people, their idea of relationships will grow and evolve with them. But that’s not everything, their parents’ image as a couple -your image- will always be engraved in their minds. With every tiny obstacle they face, they’ll remember your fights and troubles.
- Anxiety hits them, hard
Your kid will be subject to anxiety more than other kids. Nightmares, fearfulness, jumpiness and feelings of apprehension are some side effects of your failed marriage on your child. Please put that in mind when you choose your life partner.
- Social dysfunction, anger issues, and self-destructive behaviours
Social problems will arise, particularly for teens. Academic performance will no longer be important. And studies show that kids of troubled houses have a higher probability to go for drug use, self-destructive behaviors and suicidal tendencies. Most of the children who don’t live in a healthy environment tend to have mood problems, mood swings, silence and withdrawal are also common symptoms as well.
This article is written to anyone who believes that relationships are easy and that divorce is the way out. Consider what you’re doing to your children as well, and choose wisely.