Written By: Farah Hatem
It’s so beautiful when people open up to you. When they trust you with happy and painful memories. When they vent to you. When they escape life through you. It’s such a precious feeling to feel validated, important, and appreciated. It’s such a blessing to be surrounded by those who remind you of your worth every single day.
The kind of talks that you have are exceptional; they don’t strive off of double faces or misunderstanding. They calm down your anxiety and being. They make you feel sane, if only for their duration. They’re characterized by wide grins and happy, bubbly faces, trusting eyes and gentle touches. They last for as long as the person lasts, and go the minute they go.
But the minute they went was not a minute. It was an eternity. It was a lifetime. It was the days of life and death grouped up together yet it passed by like seconds. They passed by me and didn’t care to stop. They just carelessly went and carried on with their lives, leaving me to reminiscence the day they first opened up to me and when they cried in my arms. The day they told me their most painful memory and worst regret. The day they said I looked like flowers and seeing me makes them okay. The day I had the best conversation of my life that did not include many words but looks, smiles and unsaid things finally being understood.
The day my anxiety attack almost took over me but they were there, they were just there and it was okay and I was okay for once. They then left and took my heart and soul with them and now I’m left to mend what I have, but what I have is not enough that’s why I’ll always go back to them.
But they’ll never look back at me. They’ll move on as if what happened never did, as if they could turn our memories into dust. But I’ll never let this dust slip into the wind, I’ll hold it close to my heart then maybe the excruciating pain will heal me. Or swallow me hole.