Letter to the one with whom it would’ve never worked out


I know a million words won’t be enough to describe how much I loved you, but I will try and make it as short as I can;
I didn’t know I love you that much until you left me. It’s not that I feel lonely, but I miss you; I miss your presence in my life, I miss our daily calls that we never get bored of and the tiny details that you used to mention about your day. My heart aches that I can’t call you, I can’t put a smile on your face anymore I feel helpless watching you miserable like this and I can’t do anything, I don’t even have the right to check up on you. I miss you like hell! I know that logically speaking, it would seem hard that we would stay together, but a moment with you is enough for me. I’m afraid you would find someone else who would make you happier than I did, and I’m afraid I won’t find someone who would make me feel like you did.

 I wish you all the happiness in the world, but I wished more to be the reason behind it. I remember you once gave me a look that I would never forget, I wish I could turn back time to see it again. I can feel how broken you are and I see you trying to gather your shit, damn! 

You have no idea how much pain you caused and still causing by pushing me away, that warmth I hear in your voice was everything I wished for.
We did mistakes; many of them, and hurt each other unintentionally. But, I feel that our souls are attached together in way I can’t understand.
It’s hard to act like a friend or even a best friend while I’m trying as hard as I can to move on, even though I don’t want to.. The thought that you will be with someone else is killing me.
You are my only wish and I wish this would change things, but it won’t.
I don’t know how could you ever do this to us.
I’m pretending, lying and doing everything I can to let go and move on but I can’t get you out of my mind! 

My mind keeps reminding me of you over and over again, no matter how hard I try to forget, you keep coming back to me again.

I wish one day you’d know how much I loved you, and I’m afraid that it would be too late when you do. I wish you loved me the same. I wish you come across this and it reminds you of me.

I wish I was your only wish!